Who Am I?

Who Am I?

I actually wrote this down a month after being here in Thailand. Now after my jungle experience, I think the Lord was just preparing my heart for it.

These past few days I have been asking myself a lot of hard questions. Ones that we really don’t like to think about or questions that don’t even cross our minds.

What if everything I owned materialistically was taken away from me, would I be the same person I am today?

House. Bed. Pillow. Carpet. Wood floors. Clothes. Jewelry. Shoes. Makeup. Nail Polish. Electricity. Toilets. Showers. Toilet Paper. Refrigerator. Cold Milk. Cheese. Bacon. Tacos. Pizza. Coca-Cola. Running Water. Electronics. iPads. Books. TV. Games. Sports. Theater. Music. Instruments. Cars.

These are just SOME of the major things we have and use on a daily bases. (Like how I added all my favorite foods?) Through this blog please don’t judge me thinking we can’t ever use these things and we should all live like John the Baptist. Not my point. (Even though they do eat Locust here. Haha)

This is what I’ve been personally dealing with. Is it tangible things that satisfy my soul more, when it really should be the Lord?

If all of this was taken away from me, who would I be? Would I still laugh? Would I still love? Would I still live? (Barely because honestly I would be in survival mode by now.)

But what makes us who we truly are? It’s Christ who defines us.

This is too deep for me to even get down what I’m feeling while I’m pressing these keys. It’s our heart. It’s what is in our heart. It’s WHO is in our heart. Our identity is not what things we have or use or own. Our identity is in Christ who made us from dust and to dust we will return.

It’s not about if we have the best looking house on the block. It’s not about how many Degrees you have to show you’re smart and worthy. It’s not about having the classiest car on the highway. It’s not about having name brand clothes to look the part.

I’ve been thinking about the rich young ruler. Christ told him he had EVERYTHING. He had it all!! But he lacked one thing – Jesus Christ. He challenged him to sell all that he had, give it to the poor, and come follow Him. He couldn’t. He held onto it. But yet he walked away with an empty heart. He was nothing as a person, even though he was morally good and kept all the “rules” and “laws”; he let things define who he was.

I don’t want to be like that. I will confess that I am. I have let materialistic things help me through life. When I was in America and I was sad or having a bad day, I would go out and buy a little something for myself to “cheer me up” or “make it better” even if it was just food or a new color of nail polish. The cycle never stops. It is just a routine. There is always going to be something bigger or better to have, and that desire will forever grow without even realizing it. I have realized it, but I have realized it now more than ever.

Things don’t make me who I am. When all things are stripped away, and I have just Jesus, He alone should be enough. He is more than we think He is. He IS enough.

“God, forgive me for not allowing myself to become more like You. I have taken You for granted when You are all I need. My strength and my joy should come from You. Not friendships. Not promotions. Not grades. Not applause. Help me, Lord, I pray to not be like the rich young ruler and hold on to it all, and lose my own life. When I give it up for you, that’s when I will find it. In Jesus name, Amen.”

Who am I? I am Yours Lord.

The Rich Young Ruler

I encourage you to take the time to read this. This blog was just me sharing my heart with you. This is the story of the Rich Young Ruler I was talking about. I will just copy it here so you all can read it for yourself on your own time. It will take just 10 minutes out of your day. Read it and ponder what Jesus is saying in this passage.

Mark 10:17-31 (NKJV)

17. Now as He was going out on the road, one came running, knelt before Him, and asked Him, “Good Teacher, what shall I do that I may inherit eternal life?”

18.  So Jesus said to him, “Why do you call Me good? No one is good but One, that is, God.

19. You know the commandments: ‘Do not commit adultery,’ ‘Do not murder,’ ‘Do not steal,’ ‘Do not bear false witness,’ ‘Do not defraud,’ ‘Honor your father and your mother.’ ”

20.  And he answered and said to Him, “Teacher, all these things I have kept from my youth.”

21. Then Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, “One thing you lack: Go your way, sell whatever you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, take up the cross, and follow Me.”

22. But he was sad at this word, and went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions.

23. Then Jesus looked around and said to His disciples, “How hard it is for those who have riches to enter the kingdom of God!”

24. And the disciples were astonished at His words. But Jesus answered again and said to them, “Children, how hard it is for those who trust in riches to enter the kingdom of God!

25. It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”

26. And they were greatly astonished, saying among themselves, “Who then can be saved?”

27. But Jesus looked at them and said, “With men it is impossible, but not with God; for with God all things are possible.”

28. Then Peter began to say to Him, “See, we have left all and followed You.”

29. So Jesus answered and said, “Assuredly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or lands, for My sake and the gospel’s,

30. who shall not receive a hundredfold now in this time—houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions—and in the age to come, eternal life.

31. But many who are first will be last, and the last first.”