When God Says Go
As I flip through the pages of my book, tears begin to flow with so many different kinds of emotion: Relief. Fear. Joy. Awe.
I’m reminded it’s not about just getting a book published or even my name on a front cover, but how much I’ve grown in my faith through this process.
-Tears of relief that it’s actually in my hands.
When people started telling me that they would like my blogs from 2019 in a book form, I didn’t think it would be that hard till I started doing it. (Well, I first thought they were crazy suggesting it. Haha) Formatting the book with pictures was one huge battle in itself. The bigger battle was actually getting it printed because I have so many colored pictures. Publishing company after publishing company told me that it was impossible to print it with pictures and I should take the pictures out; or make them black & white, and be charged over $40 a book just for the author’s copy. That being the case I couldn’t even afford my own book! I seemed to always be hitting a dead end. After working through twenty-one different publishers, it’s a relief it’s actually in my hands printed.
-Tears of fear that it’s not even good enough to read.
As I started writing blogs, I had NO IDEA what I was doing. If I’m honest, I’m still winging it but I at least have an idea now about blogging. When I started my blog, it was only to keep my supporters updated on what I was doing, feeling, and learning in Thailand. This was never intended to be published or even read twice. I know for a fact that if I knew it was going to be in a book, I would have written things differently. So I can’t lie because I do have this fear that people will be disappointed in the book for it’s a blog book. It’s different. I’m real. It’s raw. I’m not a writer. It’s a fear that creeps in that it’s not even good enough to let people read. So I hope when you do read “When God Says Go” that you keep that in the back of your mind.
-Tears of joy that I have experienced this journey.
I cry not only because I’m getting my book published but more so because I have experienced and lived through these pages. And let’s thank the Lord I survived in a different country by myself across the world where they speak a different language! I’m so thankful that when God told me to go – I did. I know it wasn’t immediate, but I was obedient and through that He has truly blessed me more than words could ever say. God has given me more joy than I could ever express. I’m thankful that He has allowed me to experience this journey.
-Tears of awe that God would even call me.
I take a step back and I’m amazed and in awe of all that He has done. From the people I have met and are still going to meet who have supported me in publishing my blog book has blown me away! I’m a nobody who has nothing and God has given me everything. I’m in awe that He would even call me to go to Thailand for such a time as this. I don’t know what the future holds and when I’ll be able to go back. But I know to fully trust in Him when He says to go.
I really hope and pray that you will be blessed in some way reading my book. Laugh with me. Cry with me. Most of all be challenged with me as we serve God together in a world that needs Jesus. Be the Light in the Darkness.