I was in my apartment and I let out a huge sigh. Life just wasn’t feeling how I wanted it to feel. I felt so alone within the few walls I rented out each passing month. After I was done emptying the litter, I washed by hands. Wiping off the wetness on my jeans, I just stood there gazing into the unknown of nothing.
Out of nowhere I heard, “Come to me.” I knew it was the Lord. A tear ran down my cheek. “But Lord what good will it do? I have come again and again and everything is still the same.” “Come to me.” I felt Him say telling me that His arms are opened wide.
I went and threw myself on the bed face first into my pillow like I always do. Smushing my face further into it, I just sobbed. My pillow has always been my comfort place smeared with so many mascara stains. As I sat up to breath, I thought about that verse coming from Matthew 11:28-30. I can picture it plain as day in my Bible, yellow highlighter faded over top of it on the left page, second column in the middle.
I chuckled thinking about the verse because as a little girl I went through a phase of asking people what their favorite Bible verse was. I remember it clear as day asking my Momma. She was doing laundry and sorting out the correct colors to put into the washer. I asked and she quoted it from memory, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” I blurted out with a laugh, “That sounds like one you would pick.” I remember her exact expression, completely taken back, as she looked up from the laundry basket at me. Instead of me being impressed she said it by memory, I have to admit my response would have taken me by surprise too. “And why is that?” she asked. “Because, you’re an adult and always tired. You want Jesus to take it away from you and give you rest.”
Now that I am an adult, I’m like “YES” take it all away. I know I don’t have a family, but that is something I long for and desire. I don’t like the burden of being alone. Figuring things out by myself. No one to turn to at night when I just want arms to wrap around me. No one to tell about another work day and what I did when I get home. I get that Jesus. I’m coming to you, but I’m not getting what I need down here. Maybe you’re in the same boat but with different circumstances.
There are two stories that intertwine in the Bible that come to my mind. I think of Jairus and his daughter. I think of the woman with the issue of blood for twelve years. Two different lives. Two different problems. Both desperate, one urgent and one agonizing. This woman went to doctor after doctor when had to ask herself what is even the use. But the one time, the one time she went to Jesus she didn’t just go to Him. She touched Him. She found rest for her soul.
But the next verse is more me. (Haha) Jairus was told his daughter was dead. Wondering if he should even bother Jesus but rather tell Him never mind. Jesus overheard. He said, “Do not fear, only believe.” Later on He said, “Why make this commotion and weep? The child is not dead, but sleeping.”
I thought it was interesting that after Jesus said that, people laughed. You know what He did? He took those people outside. You know why? Jesus is showing us that we don’t need doubt and unbelief around what only He can do for us.
Whatever your situation is Jesus is saying, “Come to me.”
⁃ You’ve been wanting and hoping for a change in life for the past twelve years and are getting nowhere. “Come to me.” ⁃ You might be desperate, running to find Him and then feel like turning around to say “never mind” because you feel like it’s too late. “Come to me.” ⁃ Your family life isn’t at all how you pictured it with kids or maybe your husband not wanting to serve God. “Come to me.” ⁃ Financially you just can’t catch a break barely making it paycheck to paycheck. “Come to me.” ⁃ Relationships aren’t working out leaving you with a broken and hardened heart. “Come to me.” ⁃ You never asked for life to be this hard always trying to do what is right but nothing turns out that way. “Come to me.”
I wrote this just now. January 5th. Sitting in Starbucks. Crying and praying. Coming to Jesus just as I am wanting Him to fix me. Taking doubt and fear out the door just as He did.
I love the part in verse 29 where He says, “Learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly.” It takes time. Humble yourself to him. Be gentle with yourself. You may feel that your life is too mundane for a miracle to take place or a situation is too far gone to change but Jesus is saying “Come to me.” And I promise you, He is always there with arms opened wide.
He gives rest to the weary, if you come.